Boasting

I have been thinking a lot about my own arrogance in my past and even in today. In my past, I had seen myself as superior to my peers, hampering my social life and frankly, just making me depressed. Fortunately, I have moved beyond the form of arrogance where everyone is an untouchable that is not meant to be mingled with. (Well, I like to think so. I still don't care much for the partying/clubbing scene and consider the act of getting drunk just sheer stupidity. But I don't count that as arrogance so much as me not wanting to be associated with an activity.)

The problem is I still love to boast of myself. Anyone who has had a conversation with me has invariably hear me discuss how I'm a year ahead and will graduate CSUN at the ripe old age of 20. I do boast a lot of my 3.9 GPA as well. In general, I do tend to talk a bit about how smart I am and I take great pride in my accomplishments.

Being proud of one's achievements is one thing, but as Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 1:31 "He who boasts, let him boast in the Lord." I need to keep in consideration that my accomplishments are all from the Lord's mercy, not because I'm so great. I do need to recognize that it is an achievement I will attain, but I can't use it as a point to demean others or to gain a sense of superiority over others. The last thing I want to do is to feel like I'm better than everyone else. The Lord put me in a situation I took advantage of, but that doesn't make me any better than everyone else.

Two people helped me realize my folly and helped me realize that everyone has their own achievements. I am not better than the person next to me because I graduate CSUN early. These two people didn't tell me "Cody, you need to shut up" or anything along their lines. It was their own accomplishments that made me realize I needed to stop my own boasting. It was just hearing their stories that allowed me to see that I should not unneccesarily build myself up. One person was telling me about how he graduated from high school at the age of 16 and was the head editor at his high school paper, gaining a scholarship to a university across the country. The other person told me that they had research papers published, interned at an executive agency, and served in local gov't in high school. They are both slightly older than me (literally within a year or two older than me) These two people had no reason to lie to me and frankly, compared to those accomplishments, early graduation from CSUN is not that spectacular.

But that does not mean I am going to roll up in a fetal position and just give up an accept that everyone is better than me. It's a reminder than in law school, I need to be active on campus, not content for a high GPA. These two people weren't in a position of boasting. They were just telling me details about their lives. That's where I need to be. Not in a position of superiority, but in a position to allow the Lord to move to give me accomplishments. These accomplishments would not be to boast. These accomplishments will be a part of my story, a story where I can tell people about my life and not have them be bored within minutes.

Up and Onwards

I played Geometry Wars, the shooter for the Xbox 360 for the first time since June of 2009. That was literally right after I had graduated high school, before I even entered CSUN. In 2009, I was obsessed with video gaming and always knew what was going on in the industry and what the hot new releases were, especially for Xbox Live Arcade. I never bought new (I was always a hipster in that sense), but I enjoyed getting excited about games and especially was interested in early 1990s, retro gaming.

Flash forward to 2011, and I barely have a care for video games anymore. My interest in gaming had waned. I had no time anymore to care about such things. I have a subscription to Electronic Gaming Monthly, but that was more for nostalgia purposes than anything. The magazines sit on my shelf unread, next to my law school brochures. As I was playing the shooter, I had a realization: I had outgrown my love of video games.

I simply do not have the time to play them. All the games I play now are the pick-up-and-play type. A game of NCAA Football here, a game of MLB 2K10 there, trying to get the high score in Peggle or Angry Birds, maybe a mission in GTA or Saints Row. But nothing substantial. I do not have the time or the attention span to try and explore a deep rich world and story that gaming provides. This is too bad because now, as an adult, I can understand the intrigue behind the story and I now have the patience to sit through cutscreens and appreciate the richness of the details of a world.

That being said, I am growing up. Next semester may be the last time I have any time to play video games at all. After that, I am going to law school, as anyone who has talked to me has heard innumerably. After I graduate law school, I am going to have a full-time job. Shortly thereafter, I'm going to have a wife, and then shortly after that kids. Sitting down and playing Elder Scrolls VI will essentially be out of the question.

You might be saying, "Cody, you are only 20. Why are you giving all this talk of growing up and settling down already? You have most of the decade before you should be having a family talk." I'll be honest. I'm going to regret not going on adventures with friends and things of that sort which are associated with being a twenty-somethings youth. But the truth of the matter is, I am going to be career-oriented. Taking a random cruise with friends or a random Vegas or Europe trip will be out of the question as I start my career.

Growing up, I had always seen myself as older than I actually was. By the time I was 13, I was too old for Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network or Disney Channel. I was arrogant and found myself above hanging out with the commoners in high school. Instead, I stuck to my videogames.

This summer, I hope to make up for 19+ years of lost adventures and memories with friends. I hope to go camping with friends and frankly, I hope I'm not home most of the summer and just being with different friends. Heck, even in law school, I'll have my holiday breaks too.

Actually, as I was typing this, I had a realization. Just because I don't have many stories to tell my kids about my childhood, does not mean I missed out. Yes, I wish I had enjoyed my youth more, but I still had a good childhood with my close friends, most of whom I'm still close with. Also, I have a huge future to rewrite my memories. Like I said, this summer, I plan on being with friends a lot. Also, in law school, I'll have new stories to tell kids.

Growing up does not mean you have to stop having fun. Yes, I wish I were a teenager without responsibilities, but perhaps gaining responsibilities can redefine my definition of fun.

Speaking of fun, I can't wait to enjoy Skyrim and escape my responsibilities for a bit. Perhaps I won't have the time for deep video gaming, but that might not be a negative. I'm growing up, becoming a man. There is no reason not to accept this new challenge and frontier. I may not be clubbing every night, but I still have my friends whom I enjoy being with very much.

As I began writing this, it was with a sense of regret.  Regret that I didn't have more adventures as a kid. But why should I let that stop me from having fun as an adult? As you may have noticed, halfway through, my mindset shifted. I am now excited to grow up. Now I can go out on my own and take road trips with friends. I may have to plan around it, but there's nothing stopping me yet. And by the end of the decade, I can take road trips and adventures with my wife and child. Just because I have responsibilities doesn't mean I die. It just makes a new adventure.

The Power of Positive Thinking

Anyone who meticulously follows my facebook (or as it is more colloquially and unfortunately known as 'stalking') would notice that last night I posted to become a better man. To give myself a better chance. I've set out to not let my fears stop me. I always let my fear of consequences get in the way of me living and I have been paralyzed by it. My dad was giving me the usual lecture about how he feels I let my fear get control of me and quite frankly it stuck as well as the previous times. But the thing was, he was right.

It was an hour or so later that I realized this when the Lord implanted this verse in my head suddenly. One of my favorite verses: Matthew 6:34 "Therefore, do not be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself; sufficient for the day is its own evil."

I was being anxious for tomorrow. I always am like "How will this affect my law school status?" or "If [x] happens then it will make things bad." Being of the legal mind, I can find an excuse to get out of anything. I've enabled myself to hide behind taking risks by these myraid excuses. No more. Theres gonna be a new Cody. A shining Cody.

I woke up this morning to see if the message still stuck. It did. After my shower, I looked myself in the eye in the mirror and knew I had my game on.

I honestly felt the surge of confidence pounding through me this morning. I knew I had my game on. Today was gonna be a good day.

I was at Bible Study when I got an  email on my phone. I assumed it would be a message from a professor or a law school application fee waiver. What I got was nothing quite like I had expected. It was an acceptance letter to the College of William and Mary Law School. This was a speedy decision. I expected my decision in March, not mid-November. This was also a highly ranked law school with some prestige and history behind it (It's the oldest law school in the country. Founded in 1799.) A speedy decision from a great law school is definitely a sign of great things to come, even though I don't expect any more decisions soon.

I find it no coincidence that I got this acceptance letter on the day I made my attitude change. When you change your thinking to follow what the Lord expects of you, positive things come. In the Bible, there is heavy emphasis placed on speaking. When we speak positively, the Lord responds positively.

I truly am blessed to realize that I can enjoy the Lord day by day, all the time. I am blessed to be in the position where I can be going to law school right when I turn 21. I truly enjoyed during today's Bible study that we can enjoy Christ as the Resurrection life. His life gained a victory over death and sin.

When I posted about my acceptance, throughout the day, I received 42 likes. That was about triple what I was expecting truth be told (although when I posted about my $10,000+ offer from the University of Pittsburgh, I had 20 likes, so perhaps I was selling myself a bit short still). It was so wonderful to see all the people that cared. I had a few people even take the time to comment their congratulations. It really meant a lot to me to see all the people that do care about me and would love to see me be successful.

After that I got what I saw coming. I got an application fee waiver to Penn St University Law School. For the person that might be unfamiliar with the case, there was a major sex scandal with an assistant football coach and a cover-up that frankly made the university the laughingstock of the country. It honestly gave me a good laugh that now because of the condemn able actions by the Penn St administration, the law school has to broaden its recruiting to seek potential recruits.

I destroyed my Ethics and Public Policy midterm. Like a boss.

The rest of the day went swell. I felt more social than normal. I also found out that the Admitted Students Program at William and Mary is right during the beginning of my spring break. Looks like I may have to make a trip back east during spring break.